An Attitude Adjustment...my Confession

I almost died when I paid the bills last night.... of a nervous heart attack that is. We are BROKE this month!!! I way over spent and have tried to creatively figure out a way to get through the next 11 days until we have a few more dollars to spend! But, with that said, I spent the morning running around town on a quest to buy the perfect pair of pajamas for the boys. You see they are having their first real sleepover guest this weekend and begged me for cooler pajamas (their current ones truly ARE dorky!!!!!). Now... even though I could not afford them, against my better judgement, I spent the morning doing anything it took to make them happy with money.

I have never been poor... I grew up in a middle class family. As an only child I was given everything that I needed and wanted. My husband the same...we lived very comfortably. Now in our married life, we live the same, WAY too comfortably. Even though we live with a poverty level income, somehow we make it. We have no real debt, and a low mortgage. God has provided for us all the way and I am thankful, I owe it all to HIM.

I do live creatively, I have become an extreme couponer, I work very hard to get stuff for free. I buy and sell things, and as times have changed and things have become more expensive I do try to cut back. I do think about what goes into the cart now and just today, before we checked out, I stopped and said to the boys, "Now... let's look at what we have put in the cart and take out the things that we don't really need," and we did just that. We do not eat out more than a pizza here and there, or go to movies, or spend money foolishly. I buy used clothes and shoes a lot.

What bothers me is that I don't really KNOW deep down how to live as the poor person that I am. I really want to learn how to live with less. To know that I can't just have everything I think we need. Not that I am talking about a big flat screen t.v. or a beautiful bedroom set, but that bottle of face cream, or the better brand of yogurt. I want to understand that I just can't run to Walmart and fill my cart with things that I think I need. I want to better understand the value of a dollar, and how hard my husband works to make each and every one.

This will be my goal for the next few months, to not only save through spending less but to deny myself the things I THINK we need but really do not. It will be the summer of being content with everything we have and knowing that we DO NOT need more.

I need an attitude adjustment and hope that I can accomplish it :0)

Independence Day

I have always been an overprotective mom, there is no secret about that. I don't let my kids out of my sight, we are homebodies, and going out and doing things is foreign to us. I even still set my alarm clock halfway through the night to check on the baby (I mean umm... 2 year old).

While I have many other reasons...it is primarily why I homeschool too. Now do not get me wrong, we have a very active healthy life, full of fun, field trips and exciting every day adventures.

My husband and I have been away twice since we had kids... and that was before baby. This weekend I am taking a big step. I am going away for a night to a homeschool conference with a friend. I will be travelling a whole hour and a half outside of my comfort zone. I am excited to get away and I think it will be good for the kiddos too.

Sometimes I feel Guilty about being such a mom, but we have chosen this lifestyle because I love my kids and I want to spend as much time with them as I can in this short life. Given the unexpected catastrophe that has turned life upside down for so many far across the world, I want my kids to know that spending my time with them was one important gift that I could give to them while I could. I want them to know that I tried to spend my days, teaching and loving and trying to be a Godly example.

Hopefully this weekend will be a time of learning how to do my job better... and maybe I will have some fun too! Hopefully the kids will feel a little independence for a day or two and not forget about me in all the fun they will have with Grandma and Grandpa!

Potty Training at two?

Potty Training at 2? That is crazy! I never would have been able to accomplish this with the older two but baby is so smart. I suppose it comes from being the third. He gets to learn everything from all the rest of us.

Right now when I ask him if he wants to go on the potty his response is of course a big nooooooo! He says it just like that emphasizing the oooo.

Here is his idea of potty training though. Pooh in the potty :0)

We will juat have to see how it goes!

Boy to Man???

They grow up too fast...

The big boy announced today that he did not like the smell emanating from under his arms. He just could not stand the smell of himself! Funny!!!! After months of begging I finally let my almost 10 year old try some deodorant. He was so very happy and felt like a man. All day long I caught him secretly (well not so much secretly to me) sniff under his arms and breathe in the sweet smell of "Cool Blast". He has received his first tube of deodorant and is anxiously awaiting shower time.

Where do the days go? When did I get an almost 10 year old?

Poo Poo & Chew Chew on the Shoe Shoe

Do you ever look down when you walk? Thankfully yesterday I did.

Standing in line at the catalog return desk at Penney's yesterday (to return something that I should not have bought in the first place) I stood smiling, watching the middle one prance the small one around the room holding hands so lovingly. All was great until doh... he pranced him directly into a mess on the floor. After chastising him for not paying attention I quickly swooped up baby and finished my transaction. As we were leaving, further down the hall, I luckily decided to look down at the floor just in time to save the big one from the same fate, but then we saw it again... and again...pile after pile of brown chocolate on the floor. In an instant of realization and a rush of panic, I looked down at the shoe gently bumping against my hip as we walked. I ripped off the shoe and braved a sniff and the gentle caress of Cocoa was not what touched my nose. Well... the boys immediately started gagging and wretching and as we walked out of the store the baby happily chirped "momma, poo poo shoe shoe".

A while later as I furiously scrubbed the shoe at the spicket with an old toothbrush, bleach and water I could not help to think that the shoe had been disgraced and forever soiled by that filth. There were other things that soiled our shoes that day, a puddle of shiny oil brought out by the rain and some chew, chew left by a manly passer by. As a germaphobic family we DO NOT wear shoes in our home. We vowed to never bring the filth of the outside world into our home. It struck me that while I am so concerned about what our shoes bring onto the house that I totally disregard the other filth that I bring home and soil my kids hearts with. What about the wii that we got for Christmas in the name of exercise? Or the Nintendo DS that we bought in the name of long hours waiting at the doctor? The 2 year contract with Direct TV? The Kindle? The Ipod Touch and it's Angry Birds? For at least the last 8 years God has put it in my heart to simplify and rid ourselves of these things, what will it take for me to finally obey?

To finally worry less about their "soles" and more about their "Souls"?

While I will try not to use a christian metaphor in everything that I write, I would be remiss not to at least recognize the lessons that God has for us as we WALK through our day.

Blessings!!!!